This sounds like a really good starting paragraph for your story. Your post makes me want to read it now. Very interesting.
I really like your story Bryce. I like spending time on the river and knee boarding too. It is one of my favorite things to do when I go to the lake.
Kordell, this is a interesting story. I remember my first time shooting a deer, I was so happy and so was my family.
This is a good story Elizabeth. But you should add more details and make the story longer, since your story is so good.